Previously On Martinez Yoga…
It’s been some time since my last entry. The past year and half has been a whirl wind. Let me catch you up to speed. Some of you know. Some of you don’t know. Me and my partner have been actively exploring ways of having a family, of having a baby. It took about three years, but on August 16, 2013 we got our baby girl. She came to us five days old, and came to us as pre-adoptive parents. When she turned one year old, the agency changed their mind and didn’t recommend or approve us to adopt her. Too complicated to go into. They removed her and sent her to family in another state. Devastating. We love that precious creature, but the powers that be had a different plan. We fought to keep her, but the family court said no. She’s been gone for almost one month. We’re grieving.
All through her first year of life, my practice, in regard to asana, was sporadic at best. Just had very little time for anything that wasn’t baby, but that wasn’t a not a big deal to me. I was just so happy that she came to us. Since she’s been gone, I’ve been practicing at home a bit more frequently, and I feel a little better- physically, emotionally, and spiritually. As I was practicing, I kept thinking about the baby. What is she thinking? What is she eating? How is she sleeping? Is she happy? Is she loved? Does she feel loved? It made me sad as I practiced, but my doggies gave me a good reminder of what yoga is about. To me, yoga is about clarity, self-realization, and relationships while consciously integrating my breath with my body, mind, and movement while I find the easiest way possible. The easiest way possible because the less energy I use in my practice, the more energy I have to go out and do my thing, and take care of that precious creature. You know, yoga? As I was breathing and moving and moving and breathing, sometimes rolling around on the floor, I had two cute miniature poodles licking my feet and licking my face. These doggies are our kids. Leo is a two year old delish apricot colored ball of energy, love, and devotion, swaddled in royal purple and gold (Just like Madonna and J.Lo. They’re leos, as is Leo), and Asa is a fluffy white three month old (just got her) little sister who is a gemini diva. She’s playful, flirtatious, endless fun. So many of her! If she could play, I think we would be good in doubles tennis. Anyway, I digress. I just love those doggies so much, but they were kinda annoying as I was trying to do my thing. As they were licking me and jumping all over the place, it occurred to me that they just want to be loved and know that I’m there for them. With my doggies it’s about cultivating, nurturing, and maintaining a relationship. To me, that’s yoga. That got me through my period of feeling sad and missing the baby. I’ll always miss and think about the baby, but there is this wonderful process called yoga that can help me make sense of it all and give me some peace with what happened.
Yoga is simple, but within its simplicity, it’s profound.
What does yoga mean to you?
Photo by Anna Rose
Here they are! America’s sweethearts! Even though Leo looks like he can’t be bothered, he loves his little sister.